Dating Tips

Online dating is now the second-most common way couples meet, with 30 to 40 percent of singles trying out some 1,500 services, from sites to apps. So if you're single and don't want to be, shunning digital dating is kinda, well, dumb. But to avoid spending all your time clicking aimlessly or going on dates you feel like running (screaming) from, you need a game plan.

These five enterprising, and ultimately triumphant, mate seekers were willing to share theirs. Check out their proven online dating tips for sparking love—one of which might just lead you to your own real-world relationship.

Amy Webb
38, Baltimore, married, used JDate.com

The Strategy: Peek at other women's profiles, and don't settle for less than your perfect guy.

The Process: After a string of awful online dates, Amy took a clever route to improving her own profile, creating several fake male profiles so she could see how the women who came up most often in search results presented themselves. What she found (and copied): Popular women showed some skin in their photos (shoulders or a bit of cleavage) and kept their "About Me" sections short.

Her old profile included detailed descriptions of her work life and what she wanted in a man; her new one was just 100 words, "each carefully selected to optimize my chances of attracting the largest number of men." After the switch, "I was one of the most popular people on the site," says Amy, who wrote a book about her experience called Data: A Love Story.

But she didn't date indiscriminately from there. She agreed to go out only with men who fulfilled most of her 72-trait checklist of what she wanted in a partner. Her dual strategy is how she met Brian, her husband of five years.

The Guy: Before she reengineered her profile, Amy had dates who stuck her with the check and didn't tell her they were married, but Brian is exactly who she was looking for: a bald, Jewish travel fiend. (And yes, she specifically wanted a baldie!)

Joan Brown
33, New York City, engaged, used HowAboutWe.com

The Strategy: Demand to be wined and dined—or at least not simply wined.

The Process: Perhaps the most common way to size up a digital potential is by meeting for a quick drink, but Joan wanted more. She found drink dates uncreative—get-togethers that didn't tell her anything about a potential match's interests. So when a guy proposed seeing a Richard Avedon exhibit at the local museum, Joan jumped at the chance to meet someone who shared her passion for art and fashion. A year and a half later, he got down on one knee and proposed something else.

The Guy: Joan's graduate-student fiancé, Victor, is "the most thoughtful, caring, and kind person," she says. Like Joan, he loves art and avidly keeps up with current events. Besides, he makes her laugh every day. They plan on marrying next March.