Flirt Dates

When it comes to communicating attraction and romantic interest, people generally think that you are either good at flirting or bad at it. The stereotypical “good flirt” is a man who easily picks up women, usually at a bar or club, or maybe a woman who can score free drinks from guys all night long. When women ask me whether they should go out with guys who are great flirts, I often respond with, “If he seems like he is really good at flirting, then he probably has a lot of practice doing it.” This bit of advice applies to good female flirts as well.

Whether or not you think of yourself as a “good” or a “bad” flirt actually depends on what you want to get out of flirting. Are you looking for a relationship or something more casual? One of the most surprising conclusions that came out of my research is that how you flirt doesn’t just affect how many digits or free drinks you get at the end of the night, but it influences the kind of person you attract, how successful your relationships are, and how long your relationships typically last.

Depending on whether you want a short or long-term relationship, whether you prefer a slow or fast-paced courtship, one flirting style may be better for you than another. The best example of this is the playful flirting style.
People with a playful flirting style flirt with little interest in romance. They flirt to have fun and for an ego boost, often with no romantic strings attached. These are the people who flirt to make someone jealous or to get out of a speeding ticket. Playful flirts tend to adopt a devil-may-care attitude about most everything. They like to get their way, even if that means they might hurt another person’s feelings to do so. The playful flirting style is the only style where men score higher than women – meaning more men are playful flirts than women—but there are still plenty of female playful flirts out there, too.